At 14, your daughter certainly should be 'supervised' in today's times when it comes to appropriate dress, where she can/can't go, etc. however, did you ever think that in just 4 years she will be a grown woman who can make her own choices? I have a 14-year-old son, so I understand the 'age' thing going on here, but I do allow my son to purchase the type of sneakers he likes, for example, considering that they aren't too expensive. I allow him to wear his hair as he likes, just so long as it looks clean and he washes it. Maybe if you'd start out by letting your daughter pick out at least one outfit per month of her choice. Or allow her to get her nails done or her hair styled or cut the way she'd like it. Again, within reason. I don't think you're controlling---I think you're just like most parents with teenagers...we are used to being in control for 12 years and then BAM! here comes the teenager. We have to let go in baby-steps and it's hard because somewhere between your home and the road is danger, whether it's sex, perverts, drugs, etc. & you just want the best for your daughter and for her to be a decent, young lady. But for now she's just 14 and I feel it's harmless if you allow her to express herself some, be it by a garment of clothing or a hairstyle. You don't want to be her 'friend,' but you don't want to ruin your relationship and for her to hate you either, do you?