Your problem is actually common - especially in today's divorce world. It's understandable that having to look your hated ex-husband in the face all the time would trigger plenty of pain and distress. It's not your fault and obviously not your child's fault. No matter how you actually feel, however, you can still behave appropriately toward your son if you really want to. Since this is so important to his well-being, I'll assume you want to. It is worth consulting a mental health professional to help you parent in a healthier way despite your trauma. The professional can help you heal the trauma and help you find anger-free ways to interact with your son. The therapist can help you to see your SON instead of your ex-husband when you look at him.  This will be so much better for both of you.  SCR

Hello Sue,

The solution to your problem is to forgive your ex-husband.  Yes, I know that he did awful things to you and hurt you very badly.  He treated you without regard and without respect but you need to find a way to forgive him for your own sake - not for his.  In this case, you also need to forgive him for your son's sake.  Your son is not responsible for your ex-husband's behaviour and does not deserve to pay for it.  If you cannot forgive your ex, try counselling, prayer, meditation, a new exercise activity that makes you feel good and empowered such as swimming, or just plain rebuilding your life and feeling fulfilled without him.  I hope this helps.  My heart is with you and your son.  I am sure he has been hurt plenty by what his father did to you too.  Maybe you could think of your son as your teammate, your partner in sorrow.  Forgive and start living!

JUST A THOUGHT...FOR AS MAD AT YOU ARE AT YOUR EX FOR TREATING YOU SO BADLY, IMAGINE HOW YOUR INNOCENT SON IS GOING TO FEEL WHEN HE IS OLDER TOWARD HIS MOTHER, WHO HATED HIM BECAUSE SHE MADE A CHILD WITH SOMEONE SHE NOW HATES. NOW IMAGINE IF YOUR EX HATED YOU AND HAD YOUR DAUGHTER AND HE HATED HER BECAUSE SHE LOOKED LIKE YOU. SAD.