summer visitation with rude sons

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Nickname: Eddie
Date: 7/08/09 21:30

My wife has our two boys almost full time. They visit me only in the summer months and during the December break. I find that they are very rude to me when they're here and they're also unpleasant to my new wife. This isn't good for my new marriage and frankly I am at a loss as to how to change them. I've told them over and over again that they can't speak to me the way they do but they don't change. They are 9 and 13.

Nickname: SCR Date: 7/08/09 21:34
If you haven't already read my book Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice or the download on this site The Tactical Guide for Dads in the Field now would be the time to do so! You need to learn how to be very warm and positive with your sons and yet establish some basic groundrules for the relationship. The Relationship Rule - "I do not give nor do I accept any form of disrespect" needs to be applied. Your sons aren't happy when they're behaving poorly - they're probably full of anger, upset, hurt and so on. While their feelings are acceptable, their rude behavior isn't. You can just tell them to stop it and you can't just punish them. You need a plan of action. Just such a plan is described in detail in both of the materials cited above so take a look and try out the techniques. Things can improve. Sarah Chana ADD COMMENT
Nickname: Stephen Date: 7/08/09 21:36
My second marriage has gone through a lot of stress because of my son's horrible behavior to my new wife. Do whatever you can to get your kids to shape up before it's too late. ADD COMMENT
Nickname: Bonnie Date: 7/08/09 21:40
Make sure you aren't rude to them too - you have to model respect as well as teach it. My husband always complains that our kids are rude to him but he uses the same tone on them that he's complaining about! In fact, they just copy him. ADD COMMENT
Nickname: Howard Date: 7/08/09 21:42
Being a part time dad is the pits. The kids are usually mad because they never wanted you to leave their mom and they resent your new wife because she's breaking up their memories of their real home with their two parents. When you leave your wife, it's never the same with your kids after that. If you're wife left you for some other guy, then the kids hate her instead. They just hate whoever it is who wrecked their home and then that parent has to deal with it. ADD COMMENT
Nickname: guest Date: 7/09/09 11:07
what about when the mom left the dad for another man.. and now the kids take moms side and resent dad for finding someone and make up things to their mom to get babied that make the new girlfriend to the dad appear mean when she isnt.. also when they treat their dad like garbage, hanging up on him and taking things from the house without asking, only to turn it around while at their moms.. ADD COMMENT

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