Sometimes parents give and give to their kids without remembering to TEACH their kids to give back. We can't take it for granted that grown children will pay any attention to us. They are very wrapped up in their own busy lives. It is true that today people are even busier and more stressed than a generation ago because both husbands and wives work full time, often very long hours. They can barely look after themselves and their kids, let alone foster relationships with other people (even their parents!). Still, there are telephones and computers these days. Visits needn't be frequent but they should be regular - even if that means regularly only once a month. With two sons, that could be bi-weekly son-visits for you and your husband. Have you told your kids the way you feel? If not, try telling them - but not in a whining, complaining, bitter way. Just let them know how much you love them and make a suggestion about setting up a monthly dinner at your house (or lunch or whatever). They may not realize how you feel because they're not in that situation yet. When they're 60 years old, they'll get it! Meanwhile, speak up for yourself and see what you can arrange.  Good luck,  Sarah Chana

It's true that kids need to be taught about staying involved with their parnts. My parents drilled this into us 3 kids all the time and they modelled it with the way they stayed close to their parents. None of us neglect my parents. On the contrary, we're all there every weekend. It's great for us and for my parents. But I don't think it's accidental. It was a family value. If young parents are reading this I'd suggest you remember to teach your kids about how to look after their parents and grandparents.

My father's parents died before I was born but my mother's parents were alive till I was a teenager. My mother was in a constant feud with her mother - she went through long periods of not talking to her, not visiting her. We didn't see our grandmother for years at a time and then we would for awhile. It was pretty weird. My mother fights with her sisters too. The whole family is messed up. I'm at college and I have two teenage sisters at home. I don't know if any of us are going to visit home much once we leave it because there's too much fighting and unpleasantness. I think that home has to be really good if anyone is every going to want to go back for regular visits once they grow up and move out.