I think you are talking about two different problems: one is that your son is under pressure right now and the other is that your husband is being bossy. Let's start with the last one first: you can help your husband by speaking with him about your concerns to him or asking him to come with you to a professional counselor where the issue can be raised. As for your son, you can help support him by being careful to limit criticism and use "emotional coaching" (listen to the MP3 on this site or look it up in Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice). Also, you can offer him some Bach Flower Remedies to reduce his stress - i.e. "mimulus" and "cerato" for performance anxiety re his Bar Mitzvah, and "walnut" for adjusting to a new school - or call a Bach Flower Practitioner to help create a remedy mixture for him.  All the best, Sarah Chana.

A lot of kids are very nervous just before their Bar Mitzvah - it's a lot of pressure for them. Don't worry - it will pass.

If your husband is not being nice to your son, you need some family counseling.  It's hard enough for your son to be going through everything without the added pressure of a mean dad!