If it's any help, my daughter was also horrible when she was three and it lasted till she was around 5 but it got a little better evey year after that. She's 12 now and she's a great kid. We have a really nice relationship and I hope it will always stay that way now. So think to the future - kids do grow up and get better.

Some kids really are easier to love than others. And you're right - very few people could tolerate a crying, whining, tantrumming child all day long! So the best thing to do is to try to help your daughter with her emotional and behavioral states. For the emotions, you can give her Bach Flower Remedies - harmless remedies that can make a huge difference in a child's affect. You can learn about the remedies in articles on this site (see "Parenting" and also "Emotional Intelligence" for articles on this subject) and also at www.bachcentre.com. From the way you describe her, you might try the remedies Heather (for needing lots of attention), Mustard (for constant crying and miserableness for no reason), Vine and Cherry Plum (for tantrums). However, it is even better to consult a Bach Flower Practitioner who can ask you all the right questions concerning your daughter's moods and thereby come up with a precise mixture of the Remedies just for her. Behaviorally, you may make some changes as well. You may be accidentally reinforcing her negative affect (whining, crying, tantrumming, etc.) by giving her a lot of attention (albeit negative attention) when she engages in these behaviors. Try to give her lots of attention ONLY when she's behaving nicely (calmly, happily, etc.). When she into the negative behaviors, say very little and say it very quietly. Be sure not to give in to her when she's nagging, complaining or otherwise being unpleasant. On the other hand, try to give her whatever she wants as long as she's asked nnicely for it and/or she's behaving appropriately. You might make an appointment with a mental health professional to address all of the specific questions you have at this time and give your daghter the right start in life. Also, read How to Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice to find new strategies that will help bring out the best in this youngster. She may be struggling with mood issues or anger problems or she may be suffering frustration from some other cause. Her bad behavior isn't her fault -she's a victim of it as much as you are. Helping her with Bach Flowers and family counseling can help prevent problems down the road.   Sarah Chana