It can be much more challenging to get along with a child who has A.D.D. However, this boy probably hates himself more than you hate him - he's unable to behave in ways that earn positive feedback. He's even more helpless than you are. Professional counseling can help you and your wife get on the same page with a parenting plan. This will reduce your marital conflict and strengthen your interventions. There are some natural treatments for A.D.D. that the child may be able to take if his mom doesn't want him on medication after school - see a professional naturopath about this. It would be disastrous developmentally to send a child this young away from his mother and his home. You are the adult, the mature one. You are the one who has to find a way to make it work. I strongly suggest that you read my book "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice" to gain practical tools and an essential parenting philosophy. Remember that no matter how difficult this child seems, he is still a very young child who is looking up to you. He'll remember you his whole life long as someone who had patience, wisdom and love or, if you don't figure it out soon, he'll remember you as an evil force in his life who only increased his suffering. It's up to you. Earn this child's love and trust by learning just what you need to do - you'll  be proud of yourself for being able to make a difference in a child's life.   Sarah Chana