This is a devastating blow just when you thought he'd be able to pull it together once and for all. Computer gaming does not cause people to fail college; not studying and applying oneself does. If your son could not manage to balance his activities so that there would be room to have fun and also do the appropriate work, then he was not sufficiently motivated - he didn't care enough. Sometimes kids don't care because they are suffering from depression. Sometimes they don't care because they've never been successful and they've given up. Sometimes they don't care because all their needs have been so well taken care of that they have never experienced a need to do something for themselves. You can help your son but not with anger and rejection. If you can offer him some career counseling or personal counseling to explore what he wants to do with his life, go ahead and do that. Let him stay at home for a time, but tell him that he has to get a job. Maybe tell him that whether he has a job or not, the invitation to stay at home expires about 6 months from now - you want him to feel motivated to make his life work but you want to give him time to look for a place to live and figure out his financial needs. Don't help him too much. If he's "hungry" he'll work harder. However, some kids actually can't work - they have serious psychological problems that cause them to be truly dysfunctional. There is no reason to assume this is the case at this point; give him time to try to get it together. If time goes by and he really can't work, then you will want to consult a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist and see if you can help him. Again, refrain from using anger as a tool right now. It will only mask the real issue - your son's future. He has to feel your love and come face to face with himself rather than be distracted by parent-child conflict.  All the best,   Sarah Chana

Sarah,  thank you for the quick reply.  It's very difficult for me not to be angry with my son at this point.  Lying to me and his mom for two semesters now, saying he was going to class and doing ok, only for us to find out about his failing when it came time to register or pay for the next classes.  I got past it the first time and we had serious discussions leading me to believe he understood and would correct things and now to find that he lied again.  Your point that perhaps he doesn't care because we have always taken care of all of his needs and wants hits home.  Buying him his own computer for his bedroom when he was a sophomore in high school, giving him my older car when he learned to drive.  Allowing him to stay in his room playing computer games for hours at a time.  Yet always wanting to trust him when he said he would correct his ways regarding school and start applying himself.  He has worked part time(18-20 hours/week) for two years now at the same place making minimal wages although there have been times when he has said he wanted to quit.  I realize I can't force him to go to college and I don't want to throw more money away on tuition only to have him fail again.  I've told him he needs to find a full-time job with benefits but with the economy the way it is and with his lack of education, let's face it, how do I set a deadline for that?  Especially since he is a good kid other than his total lack of motivation for doing something with his life other than spending time playing computer games.