Some people don't like to use public toilets, not just toddlers! However, it will be best if you can help your child be comfortable rather than scared because fear just isn't so pleasant for him. Try and find out if there is anything in particular he doesn't like about the toilets - too big, too hard, too cold - something you might be able to fix somehow? If it's just that it's not "home" then perhaps you can help him face change and novelty a little better by giving him Bach Flower Remedies like "walnut" (for dealing with change) and "mimulus" for specific fears. If there is something "creepy" about the bathroom at school (from his point of view), then also give him "aspen" for vague fears. After he's been on the remedies for one or two weeks, then perhaps you can help desensitize him to the school toilet in a step-by-step fashion. Either you or another adult can spend 5 minutes in the bathroom just chatting with him for a couple of days. Then, have him actually sit on the toilet (fully clothed) while you stay near him for 5 minutes for another few days. Then, have him be near the toilet ready to use it (pants down) while you are with him for another few days. Then you stand at in the bathroom near the door while he uses the toilet for some days. Then you wait outside the bathroom door while he uses it. Then you wait down the hall. Then you wait outside the building. Of course you can add or subtract from these steps as you deem appropriate. During the behavioral part of the program, continue giving him Bach Flowers - 4 drops, 4 times a day in liquid (see www.bachcentre.com for information and the articles in the "Parents" section of this site on using Bach Flowers). If this plan doesn't help him overcome his fear, then consult a child psychologist for further suggestions.   Sarah Chana

You could do all that or you could just bribe him. My toddler was also afraid so I told her she'd get a lollipop each time she went to the toilet at school and - guess what? Her "phobia" was cured!

I remember hating the bathroom at my nursery school and even though I'm 44 years old I still have occasional dreams about that place. Children's psyche's are really vulnerable. Lollipops or behavioral programs are fine - just don't be harsh. My teacher had no patience for my timidity and she virtually shoved me into that room. To say the least, this wasn't helpful.

First off don't get angry at the child. The child has good reason for his fears even if we adults don't find it a good reason. You could start by asking the child what he finds so scary about that toilet. You could when you drop him off at school go to the school toilet with him and show him it's not scary. The teacher has probably 20 or so more kids so she won't likely have time to go with him or help him with it, but you could talk to her about it and have her positively reward him when he does go. Either by applauding or letting him pick out a sticker. You could make a cute card in any shape at home and tell him that if the nursery teacher tells you he went to the bathroom at school he gets to put a sticker on it and if the card is full that he'll get a small gift. That way it will become something he will want to do as it will ultimately lead to a gift. My friend cured her 2 year old's toilet problems this way too. But first you should try and find out where the fear comes from and prove that it's not scary.