This does sound unpleasant! However, I agree that it is drastic to cut the cousins off from each other. Although it may have to come to that down the road, I'd work as hard as possible to prevent this. Tell your sister-in-law more clearly than you have in the past that her comments make your visits too painful for you. Tell her that you appreciate that she's trying to help, but let her know that you are a sensitive person and the comments bother you for days. Ask her if she can stop making such remarks or if she'd like to go with you to a counselor to try to work it out. Tell her that you wouldn't want to give up the friendship with her or end up reducing visits with the cousins - be straight but give her a chance to realize how serious you are before you take action. If she won't cooperate, you can cut visits down or take a break and then try again in a few weeks or months. If she's improved, then you continue, if not, you take another break - and so on, until she figures out how to control herself. If she values the relationship at all, she'll work on it. If she doesn't, there's not much you can do expect protect yourself.  Take care,  Sarah Chana

I had this problem with a girl friend of mine and she just wouldn't stop commenting on everything I was doing or not doing with my son. I told her how much it bothered me so she stopped for awhile and then she'd start up again. Eventually I moved on.

Sometimes the truth is just painful to hear. I can't stand watching my brother and his wife scream at their kids and I tell them so all the time. I know they don't like it but you know what? I don't like what they're doing either! Maybe you should consider whether your sister-in-law might have a point. If she's just nitpicking, then fine. But if she is saying something that is right, then you and your kids will be better off if you listen to her instead of asking her to keep quiet.

Yes, if you're hitting your kids or insulting them or yelling at them, then do pay attention to your sister-in-law's complaints. But if you're feeding them milk and she thinks milk is bad for them or you're not correcting their behavior as fast as she wants you to or stuff like that, then don't take her to heart. Say something like "you could be right" and then just ignore her and do what you want. That's easier than trying to change a person (which is almost impossible).