son wants divorce after 3 months of marriage

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Nickname: Mabel
Date: 1/21/10 18:11

My 26 year old son wants to divorce his wife after only 3 months of marriage. My husband and I are both devastated. But my husband says that we musn't interfere. He says that our son is an adult and it's none of our business. I feel that our son is still our son and that we have an obligation to guide hiim. He hasn't even tried marriage counseling. He has always been impulsive and I think he needs to learn that marriage is different from everything else in life and that it's for the long run not just until your partner irritates you. I really want to tell my son to work harder on this and be committed to marriage. Do you think my husband is right or are we supposed to try to do something?

Nickname: SCR Date: 1/21/10 18:18
A safe way to approach this is to ask your son if he is open to hearing your thoughts on the subject of his proposed divorce. For instance, you can say, "We have some thoughts on the topic of the divorce you've been speaking about and we were wondering whether you'd like to hear them?" If your son says "no thanks" you don't proceed. If he says "sure" then you go ahead but not by lecturing and preaching. Start off acknowledging the tremendous pain he must be feeling if he is thinking of leaving the marriage. Sympathize with how hard marriage can be and how disappointing it might be. Ask him What is causing him to feel so desperate to get out of it. When he tells you, reflect back his words and feelings without judgment or criticism. Prepare yourself beforehand to hear any variety of shocking news (like his new wife has a severe addiction or mental illness) so that you can be ready to respond most appropriately. Then, and only then, share your views and values about marriage and offer concrete suggestions like the name of a marriage counselor or two. Let him know that you'll be there for him no matter what he decides to do. Then pray that his difficulties should be resolved in a healthy and painless way. You'll have done everything you can do. Sarah Chana ADD COMMENT
Nickname: Samantha Date: 1/21/10 18:19
Young people today have no patience! In our day, people stayed married their whole lives. I feel really sorry for today's youngsters. ADD COMMENT
Nickname: Bonnie Date: 1/21/10 18:38
Maybe young people shouldn't divorce as much as they are doing but I think they've got the right idea. We older ones stayed with badly behaved spouses for a lifetime but what for? There's no merit in suffering! If someone is nasty, abusive, sick or disturbed, why SHOULD you have to put up with them. Maybe your son is the smart one here. Find out what is wrong with his wife. If it turns out that she doesn't wash the dishes properly, then have him see a shrink but if it turns out that she throws things at him, help him get himself out of there! ADD COMMENT
Nickname: BabyPrincess Date: 3/04/10 3:17
Your Husband Is Right.And If You Saw My Brothers Wife He Wants A Divorce His Wife Too After 3 months And I Agree With Him Too He Should. ADD COMMENT

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