I think that you should stay with your older son in the hospital. He is old enough to know what is going on and to feel your absence intensely. He will be very vulnerable and needy at that time, as we all are when undergoing medical procedures in the hospital; he'll need "Mommy." Your infant, on the other hand, will miss your "feel" and your smell and so on, but will probably relax very nicely in the arms of an experienced nurse who loves him. He won't remember the short separation. Since he is healthy and not so needy (despite being an infant), he will survive your absence better than the 3 year old will at this crucial time. I wish your son a speedy recovery, Sarah Chana
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I also believe the 3 year old will need you more. The baby will notice you're not there but his loving father will be taking good care of him. Going to the hospital especially when the child is still a toddler is going to be a terrifying experience and no matter how sweet she is Auntie won't do it for your son. He'll need his mommy with him to comfort him and show him it's okay and he's safe. That surgery isn't exactly a light one he will need you very much. The infant will be fine in his or her father's care.
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