Using Stories to Teach Values

Stories are a strong influence of children’s values.

Think about it: what were the fables and parables you heard as a child? Which literary character did you empathize with the most growing up? Where did you learn your concepts of heroism and bravery, of sacrifice and goodwill? Chances are, there’s a great story behind your answers to these questions, and these stories form part of your outlook in life.

Psychologists recommend reading stories to children. Aside from giving parents opportunity to bond with kids, stories appeals to children’s imagination and love of playing make-believe. Stories then – whether fiction or reality-based – speak the language of children. The appeal of stories to children makes them perfect as vehicles for teaching values.

How can we use stories to teach our children values?

Pick good stories.

It’s important that parents pre-screen the stories they will read to their children. What’s popular doesn’t always have the best moral lesson. Know too that just because a book is categorized as a children’s book doesn’t mean it’s automatically appropriate for kids. You’re the best judge of what you want your children to hear; be guided accordingly.

For best results, pick stories relevant to your child’s life situation, with characters they can relate to. For instance, a child struggling with bullying behavior in school can be read a book about managing anger. A child prone to lying behavior can be read a book on honesty.

You can find lists of books that teach values from family ministry sites; many are on the internet. You may also consult your local librarian or your child psychologist for recommendations.

Ask questions.

Don’t just read stories; start a discussion! Ask your child which character they could relate to the most, and why do they find that character relatable Does this character have values they want to imitate? Ask them what could have happened if the characters in the story behaved or decided differently. Ask them too what they would have done if they were in the same moral dilemma as the characters in the story.

Analyze villains too! Ask kids what they think the antagonists of the story did that is not acceptable. Develop your child’s moral reasoning with critical questions.

Note though that moral reasoning depends on the age of the child. Younger kids think in black and white; if the consequences are bad, the action is bad. Older kids can abstract a situation better, and are more likely to consider intention and mitigating circumstances. Adjust your expectations accordingly.

Tell the same story more than once.

Children’s stories are so effective in influencing the way children behave, because they are stories that kids love to hear or read again and again. Repetition can work for you; it can reinforce the value that you want to teach your child. Repetition also gives you opportunities to explore aspects of a story you missed the first time. And if your kid is not yet open to the values you were teaching first time around, repetition is an opportunity to see if you both have had a change of opinion.

Seek applications.

Ask your child for practical ways they can apply the lessons in the stories. If you’re teaching honesty for example, ask them how they can apply honesty in their everyday life, or how they have applied honesty before. Creating an action plan is not just good for business; it’s good for teaching values too.

Reading together helps your child understand real life values without having to commit mistakes. So take advantage of stories!