Overwhelming Events

    Traumas come in two sizes: “little t” traumas and “big t” traumas. All people experience “little t” traumas: events that are deeply disturbing, sometimes life altering, often painful to recall. Doing a very poor job performing in the school spelling bee could be a “little t” trauma. Having an upsetting legal battle, experiencing the death of a a beloved pet, or suffering a serious financial loss may all be “little t” traumas.

    Many people will also experience “big t” traumas: events that are so overwhelming that the mind cannot fully recover from them on its own. Such events usually have a life-threatening component to them. Some examples of “big t” traumas include witnessing or being part of a terrorist attack or other act of war, being in a serious plane crash or severe automobile accident, being held up at gunpoint, being assaulted or witnessing unbearable suffering of others. These “single event” traumas may cause immediate or delayed symptoms (post-traumatic stress disorder). Children living in dysfunctional families may experience repeated abuse. However, their trauma symptoms may not emerge until many years later in the form of complex post-traumatic stress disorder.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

    During an overwhelming event, powerful chemicals are released into the blood stream for the fight/freeze/flight mechanism. Although a person may survive the traumatic event physically, the brain does not always register this fact. Instead, it remains on hyper-alert. After a traumatic incident a person may have troubled sleep, recurring nightmares, flashbacks (intrusive memories of the event that replay over and over and over) and panic attacks. As the person is deprived of restorative sleep, other symptoms may appear: depressed mood, chronic irritability, rage and anxiety. Adults who experience these symptoms sometimes try to calm their nerves with alcohol or other mood-altering substances such as food and drugs. Children may act out their agitation with defiance and tantrums. These symptoms don’t always occur right after the terrifying incident. They may happen weeks, months, years or even decades later.

Adults who were abused within the family as children may suddenly develop post-traumatic stress disorder at any time – frequently when they are middle-aged. However, their personalities suffer the marks of trauma from adolescence onward. They may suffer from many mental health syndromes and personality disorders. They can have depression, anxiety, relationship difficulties and sometimes difficulties in functioning.

Living with Trauma Symptoms in the Family
   
    People who are struggling with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder do not function well. Parents may valiantly carry on their responsibilities, but they do so under great strain. Living with a traumatized spouse is lonely; a person with PTSD is often in his or her own world, fighting his or her own demons. It can also be unpleasant if the sufferer is moody or angry. A healthy marriage may not be possible.

    Dealing with a child with PTSD symptoms is confusing and frustrating for parents who don’t understand the condition. They may think the child is simply behaving badly rather than acting out a disturbance in his nervous system. Some children with PTSD are paralyzed by fear and become very difficult to manage; even though they may be teenagers, they may not want their parents to leave the house or they may not want to sleep in their own rooms. Their fear can cripple an entire family. Sometimes their irrational and exaggerated anger may terrorize the household. Even if the traumatic response is limited to a specific trigger (like visiting a doctor’s office), the child’s behavior can be extremely challenging from the parent’s point of view.

Treatment

    Families no longer have to live with PTSD. Once an incurable condition, PTSD is now highly responsive to the latest psychological treatments. Many new trauma therapies were developed in the last decade that effectively resolve PTSD symptoms and restore a person to her previous level of functioning. These new treatments (such as Eye Movement Desentization & Reprocessing – EMDR), can also be part of a comprehensive treatment for victims of childhood abuse, helping people resolve both personality issues and trauma symptoms. Cognitive-behavioral therapy and psychiatric treatment may also be part of an individual’s treatment plan.

    Trauma therapy must be carried out by a practitioner who is specially trained in the treatment of trauma. Ask your doctor for a referral. Healing for a single incident traumatic event can be surprisingly rapid sometimes. Other times, a brief course of therapy will be required. Longer therapy is only necessary for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, but the resulting quality of life certainly justifies the treatment.