What is Emotional Intelligence
Marsha Jacobson MA (Clinical Psychology)
Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, refers to our ability to understand our own emotions and the emotions of others. One can then act on that understanding to shape a positive outcome. This intelligence relating to our emotions produces many characteristics. Empathy, kindness, self-confidence, good listening skills, humour and acceptance of self and others are some of these characteristics, which together form the behaviour of emotional intelligence.
The understanding of emotional intelligence is in its relative infancy. Though it had been alluded to for many years, Daniel Goleman only mainstreamed the concept in 1995. Before that we believed that only IQ could predict success. It soon became clear that IQ alone could not adequately address this question. We then began to loosely add other factors to the equation, such as home and social environment, education and even luck. Studying these ‘other’ factors produced the seeds for how we understand emotional intelligence today. This knowledge has opened exciting doors for parents and educators.
Those with high emotional intelligence are generally perceived as charismatic people and as having “personality”. These people tend to be very successful in most areas of their life, including their careers. Examining highly successful people can often give us the best idea of what high emotional intelligence looks like. Often we can easily see why these people are successful.
There is much discussion revolving around whether emotional intelligence is an innate quality or not. While children seem to have a different potential for emotional intelligence, this does not change the importance of enhancing or improving this potential. We know now that no human quality exists in a vacuum and that all traits respond to outside influences. This is what we need to focus on. Emotional intelligence can be taught and the best time to do this is in childhood!
Children have fewer preconceived ideas about emotions and are more open to understanding themselves without judgement. If we have high emotional intelligence, it does not mean that we will behave in one way. What it does mean is that we consciously understand our own emotional makeup and will be more able to interact with our environment in a way that works best for us.
Therefore, interactivity is essential when teaching emotional intelligence to children. We are, after all, teaching them about themselves. As parents and educators, we can help this process in many ways. Our own high emotional intelligence will help us do this. As “first generation” teachers of emotional intelligence, we need to focus on ourselves as well as our children. Children learn best by example and there can be no better teacher to a child than a highly emotionally intelligent adult!
It would benefit us all to make good use of all the tools and materials that are designed to help raise emotional intelligence in both adults and children. It will be an investment well worth making.
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