How to Have a Great Relationship with Your Teenager

What to Do
   
    Stay light-hearted! Make jokes as often as you can. Give compliments, praise and positive feedback. Say nice things. Smile. Look pleasant. Say “I love you” in as many ways as you can.

    Make favourite foods. Buy gifts & treats. Talk about interesting items in current events or social issues. Offer to help.

    Listen attentively. Show interest. Repeat back what was said. Listen more than you talk. Share your own thoughts and feelings. Be respectful at all times.

What not to Do

    No more than one criticism or complaint a day – use it wisely. Never raise your voice. Threaten negative consequences no more than once a week but much less often if possible  – think before you speak. Never use an intense negative consequence for routine behavioural issues (see Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice for a detailed list of appropriate, mild but effective consequences and a guide to handling more serious behavioural problems as well).

    Never be sarcastic or insulting. Don’t call your child names or use unpleasant descriptive labels or phrases. Don’t lecture (don’t give a reprimand more than 2 sentences long.)

    Don’t discount, invalidate or argue with your child’s feelings or opinions. Never show disrespect with words or actions. Don’t stop talking to your teen. Don’t hang up the phone or slam the door or glare unpleasantly. Don’t use an unpleasant tone of voice.

That’s all there is to it.