Have you considered OCD? My son has behaviors like your child's and when we asked his pediatrician about it, the doctor told us about OCD. He referred us to a psychiatrist for an assessment and sure enough, the psychiatrist diagnosed OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder). There was a local hospital program for kids with OCD - 12 weeks long. After that program our son was MUCH better. We also learned what parents can do to help kids with their recovery. I suggest you find out what your doctor thinks - if it is OCD it usually requires professional treatment but it has a good prognosis.

If it is OCD, you can't help your child by telling her there's nothing to worry about. Instead, try to help her deal with her discomfort or fear. Emotional Coaching is a good place to start - see Mrs. Radcliffe's book or there is a download on this site about emotional coaching. It is a technique that parents can use to acknowledge, accept and calm their kids' emotions. Sometimes just allowing the fear to exist can help make it easier to bear or even help it go away. At the very least, it is a first step in handling the fear whereas just telling the child to ignore her real feelings is likely to make the feeling even more intense.

When I emotionally coach my child through her fear she starts screaming at me, "don't tell me that!" It doesn't calm her down at all. In fact it just makes her madder and more frantic. I can't even try that technique with her anymore. All she wants is reassurance that whatever she is afraid of isn't bad or dangerous. So that's what I do for her - I just reassure her and that calms her down.

I used to do that for my anxious child too but then I noticed that I had to give reassurance over and over and over endlessly. When I finally stopped offering reassurance, my child had to face his fear and deal with it and THAT's when he began his real recovery!

OCD is a medical condition. Sometimes you need medicine for it and sometimes cognitive-behavioral therapy. Reassurance and/or emotional coaching make no difference. The condition needs professional help and that starts with a proper assessment. Nothing we did for our child helped until we he went on medication. It took us a long time to come to terms with that and we probably delayed his recovery by a few years because we didn't want to believe we couldn't make it go away ourselves. My advice to you is see your doctor right away and give your child the help she needs!

For the record, OCD (if that is what this child has) does not always require medicine. Often, specific parenting techniques and cognitive-behavioral therapy are enough.