Seeking advice on how to handle a delicate situation. I have a friend whose parenting philosophies differ considerably from ours, and unfortunately it's starting taking its toll on our relationship. She has two girls (4 and 2) and I have a 5 1/2 year old boy. During our playdates, she encourages her kids to hit back if they're hit (I don't allow my son to hit for any reason,) she frequently threatens to spank her 4 year old (we don't hit,) she uses what I consider to be abrasive language at times ("I'm gonna set your butt on fire if you don't behave!") and she shouts at her kids (and my son) when she either wants them to change their behavior or otherwise get their attention. I explain this to my son by telling him that different families have different rules. We play by our rules, they play by theirs. Yesterday she was particularly abrasive to my son and her daughter, when they were only doing what she had asked them to do. They were not misbehaving or doing anything unsafe. She was angrily shouting at both of them in a crowded outdoor mall, using language that I would use to reprimand my dog. I was completely beside myself, and didn't address it because I didn't know how without losing it. She has shouted at my son once before, but he had been misbehaving, and my husband and I were in the process of giving him a timeout (i.e., handling the situation). We like this couple, enjoy their company, their kids are sweet, but I'm at my limit with her shouting, language, etc. She is very direct with correcting kids and has started this with me, too - even when I'm addressing my son! (I used the term "potty" when talking to my son, and she interjected "bathroom!") My solution is to tell her that our playdates will be limited to weekends, when our husbands can take the pressure off of us moms (another set of eyes to watch the kids and her temper) and perhaps buffer any potential drama that might erupt. I hate to punish the kids (i.e., no playdates at all) because of my friend's parenting approach. Thoughts?
