I think boys have this hierarchical thing that goes on - the alpha-male thing. I have 3 boys and they have this pecking order. I found that if I respect their order instead of try to get them to be "nicer" they actually end up being nicer. Let me give you an example. Let's say my 11 year old tells the 7 year old not to touch his stuff. I used to reprimand the 11 yr old and then his behavior got even worse. But now I tell the 7 year old that he needs to ask his brother if he can touch his stuff and when the older one is ready, he'll give him permission to use it. The older one has to be in hearing distance when I say this to the younger. Then, just a little while later, sure enough, the older one will let the younger one have the item. In other words, when I support the hierarchy, things go much better and the boys get along a lot better.

I have to tell you that boys will be boys! I'm the middle of 3 boys and this sort of thing went on all the time but now my brothers and I get along just fine. I think my mother was just as upset about fights as you are but that's because women always want people to be "nice." I think if you just let your boys work it out by themselves, they'll be fine. Don't get too involved.

It's funny you should say that because whenever I try to stop my boys from being mean to each other, they actually tell me that I'm making things worse and that they can work it out better if I just stay out of it! I must say I find this hard to do, but I try.

I agree that boys are different! Mine are teenagers (14, 16 & 18). They're still bossing each other around and being what I call "cruel" to each other. But they also do things together and get along really well a lot of the time. I have two brothers who are in business together and they used to fight all the time when we were growing up. My sister and I had some fights too, but nothing like theirs. Anyway, I think my brothers still have their problems but they're good brothers and our whole family is pretty functional. So just wait a couple of decades and I'm sure it'll all be fine!