My kids don't even ask me when they're that age. They TELL me what they're doing for the weekend! Maybe there's some push & pull going on here - your son is trying to be a grownup but sees you still want him to act like a kid & get permission for his activities. I guess this is the teenage predicament. But I think it's really up to him at this point and you can't stop him from drinking, smoking, selecting his friends or anything else. He has to learn on his own. I think you should just ignore this episode and tell him that his activities are HIS choice, not yours. If you don't like them, you don't have to give him your car to do them!

I agree. I think you should make your parental suggestions (like warn him about the friends, express your concerns or whatever) but you should let it be up to him. It is anyway, as you can see.

I think that if the kid is still a kid in those other ways - taking advantage of having a "mommy" - then he should show some respect and not do what she asks him not to do. If he's such a big shot, let him go live on his own and do what he wants. If he wants to accept the perks of being parented, then I think he should accept the downside as well (having to listen!).