Have you read The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene? It's a great book that really helped us with our angry son.

The Explosive Child is a great book! We also found some good books for children on anger and anger management with the help of our local librarian. These didn't cure him but it provided a forum for discussion and a reference point. He grew out of most of his temper tantrums by the time he was 12. He's still quite strong-willed but I think some kids are just more intense.

After reading about Bach Flower Therapy in Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice, we made an appointment with a Bach Flower Practitioner for our angry son. She gave us a special remedy bottle for him and it worked like magic! Within a few days he was calmer and after a few weeks he was actually a happier child. Bach Flowers are great because the child only takes them when he needs them, so it's off and on, not forever. I told my doctor about it and he said, "whatever works!" and I agree!

If the behavior is out of control I think you should consult a professional psychologist or child specialist. We did that for our explosive child and our lives changed around. Before we met with the psychologist we tried all the regular parenting techniques that had worked just fine with our older two. However, they didn't do anything for this one's outrageous behavior. The psychologist worked with our son and with us and created a structured intervention that really succeeded. Now our son handles his frustration in a much more normal way and the whole family is better off.