You're right that your husband should have told your daughter that he wouldn't keep that secret - your daughter will do better with a strong united front of parents. As for the lying - kids don't want to get into trouble, they know you won't be happy, so they lie to avoid the problem. Make sure that you keep your cool when your daughter does something wrong. The more upset you get, the more she'll lie. Even if she lies, don't show intense upset. Just talk calmly and quietly. If she knows you will respond that way, she'll eventually stop the lying. Your daughter may be throwing away pills because she doesn't feel good on them or something else about them that bothers her. Show understanding and sympathy and do some problem-solving with her. Admit that you can't make her take the meds but point out to her why you really think she should. See if you can inspire her. Lots of kids don't take their meds - try to relate to her. She may be lying about her homework because schoolwork is hard and she doesn't want more pressure. Again, sympathy is in order. However, you can still discipline her for lying - you can say something like, "I understand you don't want to do the homework because it's hard and boring. And you've been in school allday! However, you still need to do it. I'll help you if you want." Just being more "human" and  humane with her may be enough to help her not need to lie.