I believe that any negative label is a form of name-calling, including words that may be totally accurate descriptions of the child. For instance, even if it is true that a child is stubborn or lazy or careless or rude, I don't believe that an adult should use those words when addressing the child. Instead, the adult should focus on the desirable trait - generally the opposite of the word that best describes the child or his/her behavior.For instance, in correcting a child who is stubborn, a teacher might tell the youngster that he needs to be more flexible. Or, if the child is rude, the adult can tell him that he needs to speak politely or show more respect. A careless child needs to be more careful; a late child needs to be prompt, and a liar needs to be truthful. By avoiding the negative words, the adult avoids eliciting a defensive reaction to insulting language. Negative labels, like all forms of name-calling, are hurtful and harmful. They will not produce more positive behavior in a child. Moreover, by avoiding negatively labelling the child, the adult avoids perpetuating the undesirable trait/behavior. If a child hears a grownup say he is "stubborn" he will believe the grownup. He'll drop that description deep into his psyche where it will inform his self-concept and his future behavior. We act according to who we believe we are. When kids are labelled negatively, they act more negatively. By the way, it doesn't matter if a teacher says, "you are stubborn" or "you are acting stubborn" or "behaving like that is just stubborn" or any other grammatical variation. The only word that gets processed by the child's brain is "stubborn" and all the grammar gets dropped. totally. Labels stick. Only positive ones should be used.   Sarah Chana