A friendly divorce is certainly the best kind. However, this is far from saying that divorce is good. It's more akin to saying that having chemotherapy and surgery is better than dying from cancer. In other words, no one would say that it is wonderful to have to go through chemo and surgery but all would agree that it is preferrable to the alternative. Similarly, divorce is a solution to a "diseased" marriage. It is sometimes necessary. However, it is nowhere as good for children as an intact marriage would be. Notice I say "intact" - not "happy" or even "healthy." This is because research shows that children do better when they are at home with their biological parents, period. Most marriages are far from perfect. Children still do better when they are at home with their normal, imperfect, struggling parents than when they must live in two homes, shuttling back and forth, acquiring step-parents & step-siblings and all of the other trappings of the divorced lifestyle. The only situation which is worse for childrenthan divorce (according to research) is living in a violent, unsafe home. Therefore, if your concern is for the well-being of your children and your home is physically safe for them, you should not divorce. I realize that this might be advice that you wish you didn't receive. It is a bitter pill to swallow to sacrifice one's own dreams for the well-being of one's children. Perhaps it will be some comfort to know that many people are not that happy after they divorce and that divorce solves some stresses but often brings new ones. Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages do. If your husband is willing, pursue as much marriage counseling as possible and try to improve your relationship. If he isn't, get counseling for yourself and learn how you might bring out the best in him and yourself. Do whatever you can to make it work and seek divorce only if you absolutely can't survive within your marriage.  Sarah Chana