My husband has had custody of his three children since I have been in the picture. For five years, I have been more or less both parents to my step children. They are 17,15, and 8. All three have problems getting decent grades at school, and the younger two consistently fail at school. The older two are expected to do one chore a day, such as the dishes. The younger is expected to help out if I ask him, so that he can learn. The other rule besides good grades and chores is to respect oneself and the family. I cannot go a day without all three of them bringing home a bad paper, a discipline notice, or them flat out refusing to do a chore. When I talk to their father about this, he either ignores me, or tells me I need to just smile and get over it, that is what kids do. If they have done something absolutely horrible, such as ask my toddler to pee in a cup so they can pass a drug test, steal money, or maim the dog, he will not do anything about it, and if I do, he leaves without telling me where he is going and will be unavailable for days at a time. I am still left with the kids. I am expected to keep house, finish school, get homework done with the kids, take care of the finances,take care of all the animals, etc., etc., and he goes to work, comes home, watches TV, and never says or does anything helpful to the kids about the importance of homework, chres, and respect. He watches Family Guy with his kids until midnight and if I say anything, I am the bad guy. I should probably get a divorce, but this is our fifth year together, and I have a 9 and 6 year old. They both do well in school, help out around the house, and treat themselves and others with respect. It isn't fair for my children to not understand that I am doing right by them in raising responsible people while they watch HIS family screwing off and seemingly always having fun. I know in the long run, my kids will be well adjusted and his will be living with us forever because he never pushed them to be responsible. What can I do?