My partner and I are unmarried. We had a rocky relationship and had a surprise baby. We decided to try to stick together and work things out. We thoutgh since we had the baby, now more than ever it was important to work out our problems. I became pregnant again when our baby was only 8 weeks old!! Not it is 12 months later..we have a 6 month old girl and a girl who is almost 18 months. My partner thinks he is a bad father-he's actually a good father-and he had anxiety about takiong care of thew babies and gives me a hard time any time its his turn to help out. He also says because im the woman and better than him at raising them i should take on most of the responsibility of taking care of them...he also says the time he has to be with them infringes on his personal life..he is in school full time and he says thats what he needs to focus on. He refuses to work and support us because he says he doesnt have enough time. He contributes financially but wants me to take care of bpth babies most of the time and contribute financially-which means work too...and i am also in school trying to finish my graduate degree. I am stressed out and connot do it all. I am not super woman and need his help and feel like im naging my head against the wall to get it..i have suggested we split up so the kids and me are not a huge burden to him as he says...but he says he wants us to stay around, he wants to see me and the babies every day but he doesnt want the responsibility of taking care of them or me...is this not unfair?? I am so upset at this point i dont even know..he thinks this is the way it has to be. On top of that every time he is mad at me and thinks im being too forceful and "hijacking" his time he becomes insulting, and mean. He yells at me in front of the babies and calls me names. I am so confused. He says if i dont like it when he does that-then do not make him angry? Isnt that controllong and abusive? I know i must sound dumb but im afraid ive been in this relationship too long-four years and that i dont even know what is normal anymore...To make me even more confused when we are not arguing, he is sweet and kind and seems to love me and out kids immensely..but whever he feels "attacked" or i am angry with him he becomesso demeaning and irrational. He tells me things, like to go back where i came from, and that i need to be reborn and change who i am in order to get along with him because i am a feminist bitch and want to many rights...but then when he gets over it he sayd he is sorry for hurtung mer and didnt mean it...really i am at my wits end..i cried all day and tried praying and meditating and nothing seems to be helping. I feel hopeless and stressed out, does anyone have nay advice or help??