The Nurtured Hear Approach, is an excellent book that may help you.  I went to a class based on this approach.  It basically says that a parent is like a toy in which a child would like to play with/seeking your attention.  The only way a child will get your attention is by behaving positively.  As a parent, one must reward and praise the good behavior, thereby the child is receiving your energry/ attention.  When there is bad behavior, no energy or time is given to that child until they are able to behave better.  There is a lot more to it that what I am writing, but I have tried it and it works.  Keep in mind, it takes time and much practice to get into the habit for parent and child.