Our 30 year old son has been married for almost 3 years to a wonderful girl. They have one little boy. My son tells me that he wants to divorce his wife because he has grown out of love with her. There is another woman at work who he really wants to get to know better. We are devastated. He says he wants our support but both of us feel that marriage is sacred and that you have to stay together unless something horrible prevents that (like violence for instance). Margie is a sweet woman and our son admits that. We are telling him that he needs to stay married. He is telling us that he just can't live in a loveless marriage. How do we answer him?
My husband left me for another woman and he told me there was nothing wrong with me but he just "fell out of love." We had 3 kids at the time who have had to suffer the horrors of divorce. I can never forgive what he did. Ask your son if he wants to destroy other people just so he can have things his own way.
Today's young marrieds have no commitment to marriage! They are so selfish. You are up against a whole "me" society that believes in one value only: personal happiness. No sense of responsibility, duty, doing the right thing or anything like that. Your son probably doesn't understand what you're talking about. He can't understand why he should stay married if it isn't fun for him. Personally I think our whole society has fallen apart and it's the kids who are suffering.How about a law that says if you have kids you have to stay married or spend time in jail?
It's a very sad situation that you are describing. Your son enjoys the romantic phase of relationships - just as we all do. He isn't prepared to do the work of keeping love alive in a marriage. Even if he had a relationship with the woman at work, this would soon get boring as well and he'd be looking for his love "fix" all over again. Perhaps you can get him to talk to an experienced marriage counselor who could give him objective guidance. Stay firm with your values and let your son know that you will never accept his decision to divorce a fine young woman. He has no grounds for divorce other than self-interest. He may ignore you and do what he wants but at least you have given your best advice to him. Again, direct him to a professional. He may be able to hear it better from such a person. All the best, Sarah Chana
EVERY HOUSE IS A 2 STORY HOUSE. HIS STORY, AND HER STORY. THERE ARE THINGS THAT GO ON IN RELATIONSHIPS THAT IS KEPT IN THE HOME. HE IS A GROWN MAN, AND HAS TO DO THIS FOR HIMSELF. IF YOU'RE NOT HAPPY, ARE YOU GOING TO STAY.
