Does your friend like parenting books? Get a copy of "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice" and start raving about it to her - then offer to lend yours for her to enjoy (or buy her one as a gift because she'll be using it for years to come!). The book offers numerous solutions to the "not listening" problem. Even if she doesn't read it and apply the techniques, you can certainly apply them to this child yourselves. Follow the 2X-Rule - not the 10X-Rule (repeating yourself 10 times) and your problems with her will soon be over. Just as a child can learn to behave properly for a teacher, she can learn to do so for other adults, even if she continues to misbehave at home. Since you apparently have to take care of this youngster at times, you'll do yourself and her a favor by setting appropriate boundaries.   Sarah Chana

Punishing a neighbor's child isn't the same as punishing your own but it can be done. When I look after my poorly behaved niece, I make sure to put some rewarding activities on the schedule so that I can then threaten to remove them for punishments if I need to. For instance, I schedule a special movie or craft or snack and so on. This technique works like a charm. I had to punish her once, but never again after that - now she's the perfect little guest.

Don't talk to her parents - they'll just hate you for criticizing them. Just be firm with her and tell her she won't be able to come over if she doesn't listen or make things so uncomfortable for her by being strict that she REFUSES to come over - problem solved!

Have you tried using rewards to encourage listening? Look up the CLeaR Method in Radcliffe's book or on the downloads on this site - she's got some great ideas for using positive techniques.