It is clear that you are trying your best to be a good mother. It is really hard to take care of young children, especially when you don't have family support to help. The fact that you've read some parenting books and are trying techniques shows how seriously you take your job as a parent. You obviously love your children very much and this will come through to them. Right now, they're both very dependent on you but this won't be the case forever. In fact, childhood passes really quickly. You can use this fact whenever you are looking at one of the major messes that the kids make: just think to yourself - this will all be gone in just a few years. Your 5 year old doesn't need your physical help so much as he needs your emotional help - he wants the comfort of Mommy - he wants your help in getting dressed because it is a form of loving. This is quite common in children who are capable of doing things for themselves: 5 year olds want help getting dressed just because they want to be near Mommy, 15 year olds still like Mom to make them macaroni even though they can make their own and so on. Here's another thought that might help you: you say the kids are running around - that's actually a good thing. The only kids who DON"T run around are those who are very ill. Thank goodness yours are perfectly normal and well! You'd probably find it easier taking care of these kids if you could spend more time with other moms. Is there a mother-baby group that you could take your 2 year old to while your older one is in school? Or is there a program for parents being offered at your local community center, library, hospital or family services facility? I urge you to find something where you can meet people and get more support. By the way, you have to give the techniques in the book more time - and you have to absolutely refrain from yelling altogether. Think BIG PICTURE instead of getting the next task done or getting through the moment. It's up to YOU to stop yelling - not up to your kids. They're just children. You are the adult model. Something that can help you be calmer is Bach Flower Therapy. There are two articles on this site (look in "Emotional Intelligence" and in "Parenting") to get you started. You might try the remedies "Impatiens," "elm," "cherry plum," and "holly."  You can also contact a Bach Flower Practitioner for more help. The remedies can help you face the challenging of parenting with greater calm and patience.  All the best,  Sarah Chana

You are right. If you don't get a handle on their behavior now, adolescence will not be pleasant. The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone and there are parenting strategies that can do wonders to guide children toward more positive behaviors.