When things are out of control in parenting, the first step is to take a step back. Stop all reprimands, corrections, lectures, threats and punishments for at least one week and preferrably two. During this time, establish the 80-20 Rule, giving 8 out of every 10 sentences/communications so that they feel good to your daughter and the other 2 communications can be brief instructions (i.e. "Can you please put away the toys now?") If possible, listen to the free download on the 80-20 Rule on this site and apply it scruptiously! Then, continue to maintain that ratio and start applying "The Relationship Rule" (see downloads or the chapter in "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice." You will be teaching her that respect is non-negotiable, in 5 important steps. During this period, don't pick on her for other misbehaviors - try to ignore everything else besides her speech to you. It takes about 6 weeks to go through all the steps in the Relationship Rule but these six weeks should turn her around permanently. You can consult a mental health professional to help guide your process or to support you in a different strategy. In all cases, you'll need to establish the 80-20 Rule in order to re-establish your base of power which is the bond you have with your daughter.  All the best,  Sarah Chana