Parental power comes from the quality of the parent-child relationship. Hopefully, the parent is applying the 90-10 Rule (see "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice" the chapter on Teenagers) in which she is being warm and pleasant 90% of the time. Kids can make mistakes but they don't purposely defy very friendly, loving parents (unless they have a mental health disorder - which, of course, is always possible). Assuming this young man is normal, the parents need to have a conversation with him about their feelings and their values, while they put a lot of energy into listening to his thoughts and feelings. Punishment isn't the answer. It detracts from the learning and caring that needs to happen here. Kids normally have reasons for what they do - even if it is only peer pressure or the desire to have a good time. Alternative solutions can usually be found when everyone brainstorms together. If the family cannot deal with this on their own, sitting down with a professional family counsellor can be extremely helpful.  Tell your friend.   Sarah Chana