You have handled the situation almost correctly so far. I say "almost" because the only change I would suggest is not to use the same negative consequence for the same misbehavior a half a dozen times. Use it 3 or 4 times at most. If the behavior isn't improving, you are not using a powerful enough negative consequence. She obviously doesn't care that much about the fork being taken away. Try a different consequence for another 3 times. For instance, tell her that you will remove her from the table or tell her that she will lose her story at bedtime or tell her that she will have to sit on a "thinking chair" for a few minutes. Your daughter is very interested in the sequence of events. This is clear from the fact that she bangs her fork each time after you threaten her: she wants to know if you will really carry out the consequence. It is essential that you show her "yes, I will." She is just beginning to learn about the concept of consequences - the connection between her actions and what happens next. It's sort of a game for her right now; she can make things happen (even if they are unpleasant ones). That's why she insists on banging that fork after your warning. After awhile, she'll learn that the results are predictable (and not much fun) and she'll stop testing you and stop banging her fork. So try each consequence 3 or 4 times before switching. You'll eventually find something that she cares about enough.  Sarah Chana