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| Your daughter is having some behavioral problems. This can happen as a result of her own inborn nature (i.e. she may be a "difficult" child) or perhaps she is stressed. Either way, you need to know that excessive discipline only makes bad behavior worse. When a child is in a really bad state, the treatment is just the opposite of what you might think. You need to IGNORE all her bad behavior (for about 2 weeks). Speak softly to her, show her lots of love and kindness. Act like you think she is a good girl. Act like you love her. At first, her behavior may get worse. However, after a number of days, she will most likely get calmer and more cooperative. Although ignoring bad behavior is very difficult, it will pay off because over the course of the two weeks, you will actually see less and less bad behavior. Use the CLeaR Method as described in my book Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice to handle inappropriate behaviors during this period. Then, you can start using the 2X-Rule of gentle discipline but only rarely. Practice the 80-20 Rule from now on. You can find some information about these rules in the forum and in the articles, but you can find it all on the dowloads or in the book. Good luck! Sarah Chana
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