As kids get older, they often become more private - not because they have anything specific to hide, but just because they are trying to become their own people. They are separating from their parents and this is healthy. They no longer want parents to know all the little details of their lives: who they spoke to, what they spoke about, where they went and what they did. If you want to keep the doors to communication open, you can try raising interesting, controversial topics at the dinner table. In ths way, your daughter can share her opinions, thoughts and feelings (in other words, her "self") without having to share the personal details of her life. Always welcome her conversation with acknolwedgement, validation, praise and the like so as to encourage her to keep sharing. In general, continue to be warm, supportive and positive toward her. Now is a good time to reduce criticism, complaint and interrogation. If you keep your end of the relationship loving and light, she'll be more likely to open up to you at least a little. If you give her the feeling you don't trust her, if you question her too much or criticize excessively, she may use this as an excuse to withdraw further from you. Follow the 90-10 Rule as explained in "Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice." Your daughter will likely remain close to you now and throughout her life. You may just have to give her some space. Remember that you also have personal boundaries that she must respect. This is part of every healthy relationship. If your daughter is experimenting with risky friends or activities, your continued warmth is your best insurance that she will turn to you if she needs to. So stay positive and patient. It will pay off!

Sarah Chana