You're right to be careful not to fight over the food issue. This can actually cause an increase in obesity as the child finds a way to eat away her pain. Parents can feel so helpless when it comes to their kids' eating habits and this can lead to anger as well. Your best bet is to have an official plan. It should address the main causes of overweight: lack of physical exercise and poor eating habits. (Although genes play a definite role - there's nothing you can do about that one. And you can check with the doctor to make sure there is no underlying medical cause for the additional pounds.) First of all, take your daughter to her doctor just to make sure that there is indeed a weight problem - if there is, have the doctor tell your daughter directly. Then get a referral to a dietitian or nutritionist and go with your daughter to get instructions from that professional. The whole family should be on a similar food routine. Snacks and treats need to be part of it - childhood requires it! Help your daughter reduce her sedentary activities and increase her physical activity - get her involved in dancing or sports or anything other than sitting in front of a computer or other screen. Keep family communication open with weekly family meetings to discuss issues, regular family mealtimes and perhaps some one-on-one talk time as well. Be firm and positive and n-nonsense about your regime. If your dentist told you that your daughter's teeth were all rotting, you'd be pretty firm about changing her diet. Take the same attitude about her weight. However, avoid all argument, fighting, lecturing or other unpleasant communications. Be warm, loving, affectionate and supportive. Have fun and remove the focus from food. Find other rewarding activities. Just help your daughter change her sugar-based lifestyle to a more healthful way of life.  Sarah Chana