Although kids do need more privacy as they grow older, they don't all become secretive. Parents can help their kids remain communicative by following some basic rules: first, be sure not to be critical of anything your child says. Criticism shuts kids down. Don't be negative in general. Show interest, respect and positive regard no matter what you actually think - if you want to hear more. Being disdainful or disapproving in any way discourages adolescents from talking. You should also keep up your communication with your daughter - tell her about your day, the thoughts and feelings you have and other "intimate" types of communication. You want to develop a relationship - not an inquisition. If you ask questions but don't share, your daughter will not see you as a real person with whom she can honestly communicate: she'll see you as a parent who must be "handled." Be sure to joke around and be affectionate. Warmth itself encourages open communication.  If after all this, your daughter still doesn't talk much to you, you should speak openly to her about the lack of communication and ask if there is anything that would help her want to share more. Ask her also, if she doesn't want to talk to you, perhaps she'd like to talk to a professional counselor. If she doesn't and she doesn't own up to any problems in her life, there's not much more you can do. Just be loving and be there if she needs you.   Sarah Chana