Your daughter sounds just like mine! Sandra is 2 and 1/2 and she is driving us mad! Nothing is ever right for her - the water is in the wrong cup, the toast is sticky, the socks aren't the right ones - and she screams about everything that isn't O.K. in her eyes. The only thing I find helps is if I stay really calm and quiet and ask her to use her words. I sometimes say it over and over and over until she can collect herself and tell me what she needs in normal language. Once she does it, I use Mrs. Radcliffe's CLeaR Method (comment, label and reward). This approach is really helping her, although she is still screaming occasionally but much less often.

I tried Bach Flower Therapy for my highly intense 3 year old and it helped so much! He calmed down and was "back to himself" instead of acting like a raging lunatic. Bach Flowers don't numb a child or change his personality - they just help him find his best self and stay there! It's fantastic. I use it for my own stress too and I find that it helps me act more the way I want to act instead of quickly losing my patience. I highly recommend the Bach Flowers for crabby kids and irritated parents!

I think that a distressed toddler needs a parent's love. When our little girl is screaming, I pick her up and hold her close until she calms down. I think kids need to know their parents love them no matter what. When toddlers are too upset to speak, they just need a loving parent to try and understand their needs.

If you hug your kid when he screams, aren't you risking the chance of rewarding him for screaming? I would never give my kid a big hug for screaming! I'd save it for when he figured out how to use his words.