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| I went to counseling without my husband and it helped us a lot because it taught ME ways to prevent fights or minimize fights that were happening. Our home has been a lot more peaceful since I learned the things I learned so I recommend that you definitely go yourself if you have to do it that way. You'd be surprised at how much it can help!
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| I grew up with my parents fighting and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. If you can stop your part of it that's great but I think it's really important for kids to respect their dads as well. Maybe if you threaten your husband with divorce unless he goes for counseling or anger management classes it will help him decide to get help. Don't just be passive about this because you can ruin your kids' lives.
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| If you keep fighting like that you may see the same behavior in your son soon. When your little boy starts screaming at you and slamming doors on you or swearing at you, what are you going to tell him? He'll just say to you, "well YOU and Daddy do the same thing!" Toddlers are real copy cats, so I'd watch what I was performing if I was you.
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| If it's any comfort to you, my kids witnessed a lot of fighting when they were very small. My husband was violent and I was a yeller in those days. But I knew it was all very dysfunctional and I divorced my husband and I took parenting classes and I can honestly say that I never yell now. So even though my kids saw a lot before they were 5, they haven't witnessed bad parental behavior in the 5 years since then and they are all doing really well. Their teachers always give them praise for being good listeners and so well-behaved and at home they are really good kids. So I think that they didn't suffer long term damage from those early years. Fortunately, kids still have a lot of plasticity and can change when their circumstances change.
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