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| Seventeen year olds are too big to control - give it up. He'll do what he wants with or without your computer. Teenagers are very naive and they don't listen to their parents' warnings. I told my daughter about the dangers of on-line socializing till I was blue in the face and she still didn't get it - has to learn everything the hard way. Give your son the information you want him to have then tell him it's up to him whether or not he wants to use it or learn everything the hard way - even risking his life. There's nothing more to do.
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| We put those safe computer restrictions on our home computer and moved the computer right into the family room where the T.V. is and where someone is always reading, watching or doing something. The computer is in full view so the kids can't really get into much mischief now.
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| Gay or not gay kids want to meet others to establish a relationship. They go to bars, parties, hang-outs - at 17 you can't really curtail this activity. I don't think it's abnormal at all. My kids met their boyfriends at places out of school and they are really nice young men. What sounds abnormal to me is that your son seems to choose unhealthy relationships. I think kids from troubled homes do that more often than kids from positive, healthy homes so if you want to help your son choose better partners, you might try to be less harsh with him. Build up your own relationship not by restricting all his privileges but just by having fun with him and giving him some space.
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| As Mrs. Radcliffe points out in her excellent book Raise Your Kids without Raising Your Voice, you can't actually keep your kids safe. You can't lock them up inside your house. I know from experience because I was a real big worrier with my teenagers and I made lots of rules for them. My poor kids were climbing out of their bedroom windows for goodness sake! Now they're in their twenties and both are married. But they tell me that I was far too restrictive with them and they wished I was more "normal." It's too late for me, but maybe you can get more normal now. Tell your son it's up to HIM to keep himself safe and you quit!
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| I don't think that your concern is any different than any other parent, girl or boy, gay or straight The Internet opens up a wider door for preditors of all kinds.
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