Helping Kids Cope With Nightmares

Dealing with kids with nightmares is very tricky; toddlers may not be articulate yet, or lacks capability to verbalize fears. They may also be too young to understand or believe parents’ reassurance that there are no ghosts in the closet, or bogeyman under the bed.

But it’s important that parents address nightmares. Sleeping is very important, and having sleep constantly disrupted may lead to mood and behavior problems, not to mention physical stress. Nightmares may also induce sleeping disorders, and sleeping disorders may induce more nightmares. The last thing you want is a child trapped in a torturous cycle.

 

Reassure your kid that “it is just a dream”

The first thing you have to do when toddler have nightmares is to reassure the child that the dream is not real. Make the child feel safe. Tell your kid that you’re there to protect him/her. Tell positive memories, like the last vacation a favorite toy or a school activity he/she enjoys. Words are very powerful tool in soothing a child and it can retune the emotions to a pleasant one.

Don’t interrogate, and ask for a blow-by-blow account of the nightmare. Remember that your child may be in a state of horror, and replaying the dream can be traumatic. Offer your listening ear if they want to tell you instead. If your child talks about the nightmare, then listen carefully. But if he/she doesn’t, express your assurance in non-verbal ways like a kiss or a snuggle.

Ask your kid where he or she wants to sleep. Don’t force your child to be brave and sleep alone. Children can be very emotional after a nightmare. And while some may understand that the dream is not real, fears can be crippling. Yelling at your kid will not make them braver nor erase their nightmares. It may even force them to withdraw to themselves.

 

Prepare for the next nightmare.

To help your child deal with bad dreams, you also have to be proactive and not only provide words of reassurances after the fact. What you can do is find ways of increasing your child’s emotional security, helping them handle the next nightmare better. Show them how accessible you are; give them a “magic rock” that draws fear away. Teach them how to sing stress off.

Better yet, talk about your own dreams. Do so in daylight. You may want to tell your children stories of your own childhood nightmares -- and how you eventually got rid of them. This would normalize nightmares, and increase their optimism that they can be overcome.  

 

If nightmares are recurring, consider stress.

Dreams have been the subject of a lot of speculation, and one theory is that it’s where our subconscious thoughts let out what it can’t express during the waking moments. If your kids’ nightmares are chronic and recurring, consider that your child might be under stress, and is playing it out through dreams. Consider too possible fears and anxieties. For instance, children from families going through divorce or grieving may be prone to nightmares as a way to cope with the situation.