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TEACHERS & KIDS
Teachers Impact on Children
A devoted teacher can make a tremendously positive impact on a child\'s development. Such a teacher can inspire a youngster toward a life long vocation or model character traits that the child emulates. A teacher can provide much needed emotional support and encouragement, sometimes becoming the only adult in a child\'s life who does so. Even by providing reassuring structure and routine and basic respect, a classroom teacher can create an island in the storm for children going through family conflict, divorce, alcoholism and other intense stressors. And when the child\'s home life is normal and loving, a kind, understanding teacher compliments the models of healthy adult functioning that the child experiences in his family.
Just as teachers can become such forces of good in a child\'s life, they can also become sources of harm. Teachers are in a position of power and authority vis a vis their young charges. Children look up to them. Children count on them to teach not just the subject matter, but also the way an adult should be. When teachers lack self-control they not only upset and frighten children in the moment; they also teach them character traits for the long term. They are saying with their behavior \"it\'s O.K. to yell when you\'re mad\" or \"it\'s O.K. to hurl insults if you feel like it.\" If a grownup can do it, then it must be right. Children are impressionable. Moreover, some children - especially those in the youngest grades - can be traumatized by the behavior of angry adults, teachers included. Some actually need therapy in order to recover from the angry outbursts or hurtful behavior of teachers. Teachers may not realize how much harm their remarks can cause. There are children who don\'t want to go to school anymore when they know they have to enter a verbally abusive classroom each day. There are others who suffer nightmares or stomach aches or other nervous disorders. Children are trapped in their classrooms with little or no power to protect themselves. This helplessness is what causes the trauma response that they sometimes experience.
Frustration in the Classroom
Some teachers are also suffering. Many experience exhaustion and frustration dealing with large classrooms of unruly children day after day. Sometimes the kids are so provocative that teachers are brought to tears. They can get to the point where they feel helpless and burned out. They can also feel trapped. They need the job but they hate it. And they start to resent the little trouble makers they must deal with constantly.
Many teachers have only superficial training in classroom management. As a result, the few skills they have do not serve them well under all circumstances. If they have an \"easy\" class, things might be O.K. But if they are challenged by more difficult students, they may run out of tricks that work. At this point, some teachers result to sarcasm, insults and intimidation by roaring, slamming objects and so on.
Child-Friendly Classroom Management
Teachers need tools. They are dealing with all kinds of kids - some of whom are emotionally disturbed in various ways (due to biological and/or environmental circumstances). The best classroom management skills are the same as the best parenting skills. No negative labels should ever be used in a classroom - only positive ones. No yelling or other signs of anger should be used as teaching tools. Rather, the teacher can rely on a few main interventions:
A devoted teacher can make a tremendously positive impact on a child\'s development. Such a teacher can inspire a youngster toward a life long vocation or model character traits that the child emulates. A teacher can provide much needed emotional support and encouragement, sometimes becoming the only adult in a child\'s life who does so. Even by providing reassuring structure and routine and basic respect, a classroom teacher can create an island in the storm for children going through family conflict, divorce, alcoholism and other intense stressors. And when the child\'s home life is normal and loving, a kind, understanding teacher compliments the models of healthy adult functioning that the child experiences in his family.
Just as teachers can become such forces of good in a child\'s life, they can also become sources of harm. Teachers are in a position of power and authority vis a vis their young charges. Children look up to them. Children count on them to teach not just the subject matter, but also the way an adult should be. When teachers lack self-control they not only upset and frighten children in the moment; they also teach them character traits for the long term. They are saying with their behavior \"it\'s O.K. to yell when you\'re mad\" or \"it\'s O.K. to hurl insults if you feel like it.\" If a grownup can do it, then it must be right. Children are impressionable. Moreover, some children - especially those in the youngest grades - can be traumatized by the behavior of angry adults, teachers included. Some actually need therapy in order to recover from the angry outbursts or hurtful behavior of teachers. Teachers may not realize how much harm their remarks can cause. There are children who don\'t want to go to school anymore when they know they have to enter a verbally abusive classroom each day. There are others who suffer nightmares or stomach aches or other nervous disorders. Children are trapped in their classrooms with little or no power to protect themselves. This helplessness is what causes the trauma response that they sometimes experience.
Frustration in the Classroom
Some teachers are also suffering. Many experience exhaustion and frustration dealing with large classrooms of unruly children day after day. Sometimes the kids are so provocative that teachers are brought to tears. They can get to the point where they feel helpless and burned out. They can also feel trapped. They need the job but they hate it. And they start to resent the little trouble makers they must deal with constantly.
Many teachers have only superficial training in classroom management. As a result, the few skills they have do not serve them well under all circumstances. If they have an \"easy\" class, things might be O.K. But if they are challenged by more difficult students, they may run out of tricks that work. At this point, some teachers result to sarcasm, insults and intimidation by roaring, slamming objects and so on.
Child-Friendly Classroom Management
Teachers need tools. They are dealing with all kinds of kids - some of whom are emotionally disturbed in various ways (due to biological and/or environmental circumstances). The best classroom management skills are the same as the best parenting skills. No negative labels should ever be used in a classroom - only positive ones. No yelling or other signs of anger should be used as teaching tools. Rather, the teacher can rely on a few main interventions:
- The 80-20 Rule. The teacher determines the classroom atmosphere. By keeping it positive, children will be more motivated to cooperate. The teacher needs to use 4 out of 5 good-feeling communications. The fifth communication can be an instruction or correction. This means that the majority of communications should be praises and other forms of positive feedback, jokes, smiles, words of acknowledgement, encouragement, interesting comments and information, offering rewards, listening, and so on. The teacher uses this ration NO MATTER WHAT the kids are doing. Eventually, the children\'s behavior will improve just because the teacher is so positive.
- Emotional Coaching. When the kids are excited, frustrated, tired, bored etc., the teacher names their feeling BEFORE he or she does anything else. Naming feelings help the children feel understood and it creates a very strong teacher-student bond. For instance, suppose a teacher announces a test. The children all groan. The teacher names their feeling: \"I know you guys aren\'t very happy about the test. It\'s frustrating to have another one so soon after the last one.\" Just saying the sentence compassionately and with understanding is more helpful than one can imagine. John Gottman\'s extensive research on emotional intelligence in children states that naming feelings is one of the most important things that an adult can do for a child. Emotional intelligence leads to more cooperation, better academic performance and a host of other important benefits.
- The CLeaR Method: Use positive attention to encourage desirable behavior. C: Comment - make a positive remark when a student is doing what you want him to do. L: Label - give an appropriate positive label to that behavior. R-Reward - if possible, reward the behavior with classroom privileges, stickers, notes home etc. For instance, for a child who has trouble staying on task, use the CLeaR Method when he is on task even for a few moments.
- The 2X-Rule: Use this effective form of discipline to completely avoid the need for anger in the classroom. Ask once. Ask a second time with a warning. Carry out the warning on the third time.