Tips in Setting a Family Meeting

While house rules may have been already set, there are a lot of times when there are modifications needed to be in place. The reason why we have a family meeting is to have a venue to discuss important family matters which concern every member. While family meeting sounds too formal and bureaucratic, it’s actually very easy and laidback to organize.

Before setting up a family meeting, make sure that everyone in the family is aware of the purpose of such assembly. The purpose of family meeting is simply to give voice to each member. Since this is the forum where family plans and problem solving are made, everyone should be heard.

For beginners in family meeting, several tips can be used as guide:


1. Establish regular meetings Ideally, family meetings should be a regular affair.

Weekly is a good schedule; a daily family meeting can be overkill. Set a specific time every week. It may be after a family dinner or lunch, every Saturday when the kids are home from school. Any time is good as long as everyone can commit to attend. Time limit should also be decided on. The ideal meeting limit is one hour.

It’s also a good idea to rotate a chairperson and a secretary. The chairperson facilitates the meeting, and keep things moving in the right direction. The secretary can document key resolutions, ideas and plans the family came up with. If your kid is already able to write, include him or her in the rotations. The most important part is that all members not only attend the meeting but will have an equal chance to express their ideas.


2. Set agendas.

Agendas refer to pre-agreed topics that will be discussed in the meeting, and the results expected from that discussion. For example, the agenda for a meeting can be “planning for summer vacation.” Key results would be a decision on where to go for the summer break, and who is in charge of arranging travel plans.

Make agenda-setting a family affair. Get everyone to speak. Encourage all to bring up issues or share feelings about the activities that happened to the during the week. It’s also the perfect time to get your chore chart and report on the progress and accomplishments of everyone.

Constantly evaluate your house rules. Kids are growing up and they will soon negotiate for later curfews, fewer house chores, or higher allowances. Make sure that all sentiments are heard so the entire house may evaluate the concerns.

Why is an agenda important? For one, it keeps the meeting on track, instead of being wasted on trivial issues that come up. It also ensures that what’s being discussed in the family meeting are issues every one feels is important, instead of biased for just one member of the family.


3. Have fun.

Family meetings are not there for confrontational bull sessions. If a family member has a grudge and very emotional, then it is wise to skip a family meeting and attend the next.

It is supposed to be a time when each one could give encouragement and convey positive feedback on one another. While it is also intended to express concerns, feelings, and complaints, the main goal is to settle conflicts and deal with recurring problems by addressing them in an organized discussion.

Ice breakers can also start or end the family meeting. It can also happen after a movie night or family dinner. Since it is a meeting for family, it does not have to be heavy and formal like in the company or government. On the other hand, family meeting must be respected and all the decisions agreed during a family meeting are in effect until amended in the succeeding meetings.