There are so many parenting books around teaching mothers what to do when they’re expecting. But what about Dads? Are they out of the picture until baby is born?
Certainly not! Daddies are expecting too. And they play lead roles during pregnancy, not just supporting ones.
Here are some of the things Daddies can do when expecting:
Learn what happens during pregnancy. Being informed is always the best way to prepare for a baby. It’s important Dads know what happens during the various stages of a pregnancy, so that they can better respond. Women are often stressed – and yes, irrational – during pregnancy, so Dads must be that voice of reason that can make good decisions when needed.
Mommies are tasked to take care of the baby’s immediate environment, which is why she has to eat right and take ample rest. But Daddies are in charge of the larger context the baby lives in. He has to make sure Mommies are not stressed, nor exposed to anything hazardous to her or the baby’s health. He has to make sure Mommies meet their doctor’s appointment, and are following their required diets to the letter. Daddies must also be available in case there are emergencies or unexpected situations, especially during the last semester when pregnancy may restrict expectant mothers’ mobility.
Bond with baby from outside the womb. Mommies are generally able to bond with their babies faster, likely because it’s difficult not to get attached to what you’re carrying for 9 months! But Daddies can also start becoming closer to their baby even before they are born.
One activity that experts recommend to Daddies is talking or singing to the baby. At 4 or 5 months, the baby’s hearing is already developed, and they can already attend to sounds outside the womb. Talking or singing to babies are a way of helping stimulate their developing senses. But it’s also a means for Daddies to build rapport with babies, even share their dreams and plans. The great thing about this activity is that it doesn’t just make daddies feel closer to the baby, it also encourages closeness as a family.
Tell your partner how beautiful she is. Pregnancy can be a time of insecurity for expectant mothers. When they’re experiencing morning sickness and dizzy spells, they might feel stressed and worn-out. The added weight may make them feel ugly. They may be nervous about being a parent. And yes, pregnancy hormones have a way of making women prone to mood swings, depression and irrational thinking.
It’s always a good idea to support your partner emotionally during this time. Hold their hand, tell them they’re beautiful, and emphasize how much you care. You may even take her breakfast in bed, or get her something nice.
Settle the finances. Many families still follow traditional gender roles; Mommies are homemakers, Daddies make sure there’s a roof over everyone’s heads. When parents are expecting, it’s important that the family is prepared for the financial stress that is to come. Aside from the hospitalization from childbirth bills, there are also the bills that come from taking care of the baby: infant formulas, immunizations, and other related expenses. Daddies can assist Mommies in getting these details settled even before the baby has been born.
