How to (Subtly) Scan Your Teen's Friends

Let’s face it; if you’re a parent of a teenager, you want to stalk your child’s friends!

Friends are very influential especially in the teen years. It’s at this age when your child finds peers more interesting than family, and might even be prone to a little rebellion. Unless you get to know your teenager’s friends, you’re in the dark regarding the kind of influences your teenager is receiving.

Here are several ways to subtly scan the friends of your teenagers:

Invite them to your home.

Show your teen that you’re interested in getting to know his or her circle of friends. Ask your kid to invite friends over for a sleepover, dinner, school project, or movie marathon. By inviting your teens’ friends into your home, your kids will understand that their friends are welcome and accepted. If there’s one or two that pricks your parent radar, take note, but don't immediately jump into conclusions. One meeting is too short to judge character.

Allowing your teen to bring their friends over has one other benefit: your teen’s friends will also get to know your family. Treat your guests the best way possible and your kind attitude and pleasant demeanor would rub off on them.

Don’t underestimate the power of small talks.

Even in little ways, small talks you could somehow help you discern character. Whenever your teen invites his or her friends over, always try to find ways to make small talks. Play waitress and ask for the food they like. This would be a good jumpstart for asking about their parents: “So your mother cooks also? What does your father do?”

If you pick up your teen from school everyday, then offer to drop off friends. Be conversant; talk about current events, ask them about school stuff, or comment on the song playing on the radio.  You get to know your teens’ friends through the talk, and you also get to know where your teens’ friends live.

Research online

Teens are all over a lot of social networking websites, and most websites don’t even require you to be a member to view the profiles page. Google search is also a perfect tool for investigating as you could wind up in the blog site of your teen’s friend. These online web pages would be very useful into gaining insight as to what type of teenagers you child is hanging out with as the information encoded on the pages are written firsthand by the teens themselves. But remember: be public about it, or don’t get caught!

Be honest with your teen.

If you think that a certain friend is not a good influence in your teen’s life, never push your kid to stop being friends with them. They might rebel and spite you by hanging out with them more. Worse, you might push your teen away.

If you think that a new friend is a potential bad influence, tell your kid straight up, but don’t demand action. Don’t say: “Stop hanging out with Lisa, or else!” Simply share what your thoughts are based on what you've heard or seen. Then let your child decide in his or her own time, for as long as you don’t seem serious threat. Ultimately your teen will value the honesty and freedom you are giving them and they would be mature enough to act responsibly.