Children (and adults!) have “nervous habits.” These are often little useless movements or actions like rubbing the forehead, cracking knuckles, nibbling at fingernails, shaking legs back and forth, rocking back and forth and so on. Hair-twirling – taking a strand of hair and wrapping it around a finger – is a popular nervous habit from infancy onward.
If your child engages in hair twirling, consider the following tips:
Nervous Habits Reduce Feelings of Stress
Those who understand the human energy system can often describe how a nervous habit contributes to feelings of soothing and comfort. For instance, when people bump into something, they’ll often instinctively rub the injured part of their body. This is because humans are wired to help themselves heal without even knowing how or why they are doing it. They rub the injury instinctively – not because they’ve been told to do it. The rubbing activity brings increased blood circulation to the area and also brings energetic healing to the wound. Indeed, the whole business of “hands on healing” has to do with the energy stored within our bodies that can be transferred through hands to another part of our own or another’s body. In a similar way, rubbing the head, nibbling fingers and so on, initiates energetic healing that reduces stressful feelings and increases calm.
Children and teens engage more in their favorite nervous habit when they are more stressed. This increased stress may be due to outside pressure like school exams or internal pressure like fatigue. Tired children will often curl up on their mother’s lap and twirl their hair. The twirling activity acts like a pacifier, calming their internal agitation, exhaustion or fear.
Hair-Twirling is Not Hair Pulling
Some children will not only twirl a strand of hair, but then they will pull it out of their head. This habit is called trichotillomania. It is a mental health disorder which is a type of impulse disorder. Hair-pulling is a compulsive activity – one that is very difficult to stop without professional assistance. Hair-pulling, like hair twirling, occurs more often when a child is experiencing stress, but it’s real purpose is to reduce anxiety. In other words, hair-pullers have more internal pressure than simple hair twirlers have. Moreover, hair-pulling leads to feelings of helplessness and shame when left untreated. Hair-twirling usually doesn’t bother the person who does it. Hair-pulling is best treated by a child psychologist.
Helping Your Child Stop Hair-Twirling
Toddlers frequently engage in hair-twirling and as they become a little older, they just as frequently grow out of the habit. Therefore, the best thing to do for young hair twirlers is NOTHING. However, if your child is still twirling her hair when she is six or older, you can help her in a few ways. Nagging is not one of them. Besides being detrimental to the parent-child relationship and to the child’s development, nagging is also completely ineffective as a deterrent to hair twirling! What helps more, is reducing the child’s stress and re-directing her behavior.
Stress-reduction for children and teens can often be accomplished with Bach Flower Therapy – harmless vibrational remedies (water) that are available at health food stores. The Bach remedy Agrimony is particularly helpful for those who have bad habits. However, a consultation with a Bach Flower Therapist can be most helpful – read up on the descriptions of the 38 remedies to pick the ones that most fit the profile of your child (you can find more info online and on this site). Up to 7 remedies can be mixed together in one “treatment” bottle and used until the twirling subsides. If twirling begins again, start giving the remedy mixture again. Continue off and on in this way until the twirling has stopped completely.
Anything you can do to reduce stress in the house will be helpful in a general way. Quiet parenting techniques and a happy relationship with your spouse can only help. However, a child’s hair twirling can certainly happen even in a very low stress environment and even when she is very emotionally secure. It’s really more a matter of personal stress style, inherited tendencies and so on.
You might try giving your child something to hold in her hands when you notice she has been twirling. The hands, as discussed above, have energy centers that can help regulate stress. Holding or playing with something in the hand is a more socially acceptable soother than hair twirling. You can get your child a worry stone (a smooth stone for rubbing) or a fidget toy of some kind. Always give her something to DO with her hands instead of just asking her to stop playing with her hair.
In order to break the habit, you can also give your child a hairstyle that makes twirling very hard to do – tight braids or very short hair. It takes about 21 days to break a habit, so after that period, you can probably go back to her old hairdo. However, NEVER give a child a hairstyle that she doesn’t like as this can actually be traumatic for her.
If the hair twirling won’t stop and it bothers you or the child, consult a psychologist. A professional can offer techniques that are used for more intense issues like trichotillomania but that will also help with hair twirling.